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Mistrust has started to overpower you and you're not stopping it. You're better than all of that and you still can't manage to stay firm and confident enough so that you don't get dragged around by this feeling.
Deep down you believe that your partner loves you and respects you, but you don't act in agreement to that. You should ask yourself if you really trust them and be honest to yourself: are you willing to forget the evils of the past and ready to start trusting? If the answer is yes, you need to start by forgetting about the past and start the relationship almost from scratch.
Your ideas don't get the attention they should be receiving. You're not alone in that parallel project you're involved in, and receiving an answer today will make you realize that maybe you're not in the position that you should.
You need to take more risks and get more involved if you really want people to appreciate you; showing more commitment may help others to respect your intake more. On the other hand, you'll feel some extra motivation thanks to the support you received from a certain relative.
Your usual outgoing, positive nature is hiding some deep, secret part of your being. When you don't want to discuss someone or something, it actually is because, whatever issue that is, it worries you immensely; not showing it explicitly can bring you to an anxious meltdown.
You don't want others to worry about you, or to annoy anyone, but you're not exactly doing yourself a favour by thinking this way. You'd rather hide away your face and conceal the truth if you consider it's quite ugly. You're creating a fake façade of yourself that can bring you serious trouble in the long run, even more serious than you think.