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It's not a good day to expose yourself to others. You have delicate issues that affect your head and your loving energy. Don't blame your partner or anyone else... it's not their fault. Pluto's influence in bad aspects always takes a toll on you.
You can't help but think that your destiny affects negatively those around you. You sometimes think about not having a partner never again, so that they don't suffer because of your bad decisions.
Meet up with your friends, you need some emotional support urgently, without sex or other interests in between.
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The abuses from the past affect your present, your wealth, popularity, and position. You can't do things right, and it seems as though you don't choose the right moment.
You feel impulsive and against the current; without any pragmatic sense... This is a problem. The truth is that it's emotionally complicated for you to make a living if you have all these thoughts inside of you.
There's another way to live, another way of fighting. Start with the small actions, to prove yourself that you can. No matter how small these achievements are, they will be giant steps that will dismantle those limiting beliefs that are there, invisible.
Get rid of these thoughts. Look at them but don't observe them carefully. Nobody can face them for a long time. The best thing to do is to deal with problems one by one.
You can't and shouldn't keep digging your feelings. You are harming yourself and you aren't solving the problem.
What do you expect from life? The mind always finds a way of making existence complicated. Because sadness is comfortable, it makes us stay at home; it allows us somehow to "be safe" and survive another day. Not in an excellent way, but at least it keeps us alive.
Is getting out of the house dangerous? Yes, we run the risk of that the precarious personality we have built for ourselves dying.
You must look at your inner monsters, just so you know they're there but not directly and with no precaution. Go to a psychologist if you need to. Think that there are people who are happy every day. Why not you?