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You're working hard to show your real self to the one you love, with no masks or restrictions. You're very tired from trying to project what you think people expect from you, but you're not even sure that's working. At least, not for you. Don't let fear block you off, stop pretending that it's okay and that everything's fine.
You're especially caring to one of your relatives, whom you brag about all the time. And that's fine, but up to a certain extent. Sometimes, this idealization breaks all barriers and you start mixing fiction with reality. The love you feel for your family shouldn't imply wearing a useless blindfold.
You miss so much those times when you had money in your account, and you thought that'd be your case forever. It's no use blaming yourself, because money isn't going to come back into your pocket just by saying you shouldn't have bought this, or you shouldn't have allowed yourself to go to that luxurious spot.
Now learn from your experience. Excess isn't good, and you should be more mindful of our economy. We can't expect our numbers to look the same no matter how much money we take out. When hard times come, you're raging, when you should actually be patient.
It's time to connect with your most spiritual side, which you've been abandoning lately. Try meditating at home, relax yourself with incense or some scent sticks on a burner, and bring the light within you onto the world.
You'll manage to release some tension, something you need to prevent your mind from getting blown, because you're holding in endless insecurities and concerns, although there's also some passions and longings in there.
Take that personal search to contact with nature. If your schedule allows it, get away to a natural area nearby to take a walk. Feel the ground, the rocks, the bark on trees. Enjoy the landscape and fill your lungs with an air cleaner than what you usually get. And with each deep breath in, get all your tension away and take a deep breath out.